Hey Folks! It's recently occurred to me that the majority of writing I have been doing as of late has been within the ole cranium and well, you just can't enjoy it there! So here's a little background on the morning mantra I began reciting to myself:
I quit dating about oh... ho-hum... four years ago as a general rule. I'd recently gotten my shit back together and I felt the need to focus my energies on myself and Booboo. I tried to "hang out" with a few people in that time, but as I think I've said before- my picker's broke, so they were never really up to par any way. (But should any one be reading this- it wasn't you it's me... you're nice and handsome and going to make someone else very happy... yadda yadda yadda ;) ) I realized about mid-October that the possibilities of myself becoming completely jaded are increasing approximately ten fold per year. I have a legit fear that I'll become one of those thirty year old a-sexual women that reverts to listening to the lesbian man-hating phases of all female rockers, because they ALL have "that" album they released usually right before they met the man of their dreams, decided men don't suck after all and started making babies and families... Except the Indigo Girls... and Melissa Ethridge... and Joni Mitchell.
BESIDES, didn't I sort of go through that phase back in '06 when I smelt like patchouli, listened to a lot of Ani DiFranco's album Little Plastic Castles and didn't shave my legs? Oh lord, lets not go there again! (Still <3 Ani! lol)
Anyway, I don't want to be that girl (again/ever)! In order to prevent any further jading on my part, I began reciting a new morning mantra to myself in the mirror each morning: I'm smart, I smell great, and someone somewhere thinks I'm a MILF!
That's right, you heard it here first! SOMEONE SOMEWHERE thinks I'm a MILF, and I know it. I embrace it. You should embrace it too, if you have come to that point in your life where you have children. I feel like I should give you the FYI other mothers:
It may be your husband, your boyfriend, or that (completely not creepy) guy that watches you haul the kid shit out of your trunk in your sweat pants and falling pony-tail and thinks to himself, "Oh yeah, even in those sweat pants..."
So take that and run with it! No one can rob you of your MILF-ness, you have that s**t on lock-down ladies!
I quit dating about oh... ho-hum... four years ago as a general rule. I'd recently gotten my shit back together and I felt the need to focus my energies on myself and Booboo. I tried to "hang out" with a few people in that time, but as I think I've said before- my picker's broke, so they were never really up to par any way. (But should any one be reading this- it wasn't you it's me... you're nice and handsome and going to make someone else very happy... yadda yadda yadda ;) ) I realized about mid-October that the possibilities of myself becoming completely jaded are increasing approximately ten fold per year. I have a legit fear that I'll become one of those thirty year old a-sexual women that reverts to listening to the lesbian man-hating phases of all female rockers, because they ALL have "that" album they released usually right before they met the man of their dreams, decided men don't suck after all and started making babies and families... Except the Indigo Girls... and Melissa Ethridge... and Joni Mitchell.
BESIDES, didn't I sort of go through that phase back in '06 when I smelt like patchouli, listened to a lot of Ani DiFranco's album Little Plastic Castles and didn't shave my legs? Oh lord, lets not go there again! (Still <3 Ani! lol)
Anyway, I don't want to be that girl (again/ever)! In order to prevent any further jading on my part, I began reciting a new morning mantra to myself in the mirror each morning: I'm smart, I smell great, and someone somewhere thinks I'm a MILF!
That's right, you heard it here first! SOMEONE SOMEWHERE thinks I'm a MILF, and I know it. I embrace it. You should embrace it too, if you have come to that point in your life where you have children. I feel like I should give you the FYI other mothers:
SOMEONE SOMEWHERE thinks YOU are a MILF!
It may be your husband, your boyfriend, or that (completely not creepy) guy that watches you haul the kid shit out of your trunk in your sweat pants and falling pony-tail and thinks to himself, "Oh yeah, even in those sweat pants..."
So take that and run with it! No one can rob you of your MILF-ness, you have that s**t on lock-down ladies!
No comments:
Post a Comment